Thursday, December 12, 2013

The Presence of God - 3 Windows

This month at my school: The Worship Arts Conservatory, the students are studying the Presence Of God. One of the assignments required that the students write about some experience with God's presence. I wanted to post this assignment by Bill, as it impacted me greatly - enjoy...

Bill D. Dittlinger

I am in such awe of God's abiding presence in my life. This week has been so amazing and this assignment is the perfect outlet to share some secrets that God's given me to allow Him to abide in me, and keep me abiding in Him.

I would like to call this assignment:  

 3 Windows

Window 3
The year is 2013 in the month of December. God has me leave my bedside prayer time, and asks me to go the window. He asks, "Bill, what do you see?"  I took Him literally. God I see a cold night, freshly fallen snow that edge the branches of the trees nicely, it lines the edges of the water behind my home. It's beautiful Lord. Thank you for the snow. He says, "Look deeper Bill, what do you see?"  I see peace, a beautiful wife that loves me for who I am, and I see a home filled with your presence. I'm here because you have led me here Lord.

Window 2
Years 2010-2012. I found myself not being able to sleep all to often. I looked out the window late at night wondering what went wrong. Why am I not loved for who I am?  Why does no one in this home respect me?  How long must I love people who don't seem like they will ever love me in return?  Then one night after many months of conversations that went absolutely nowhere quickly, He spoke to me. Bill, I have found her. The one who will love you the way I need you loved to be the man I need you to be. I thought He must be speaking of my current wife at that time. Why would God tell me of someone else that I haven't even met while still married?  Not long after this revelation, many ugly things surfaced and my marriage fell apart. No matter how hard I tried to save it, it wasn't His will this time.

Window 1
Year 1998 January
I had just returned to work for my first night back after the loss of my 8-month-old daughter Malerie. The night was awkward at best. I was the night shift supervisor. My employees didn't know what to say to me, and I was hoping that we could just work and not talk about "how I'm doing."  The night was long and finally I couldn't handle people looking at me with pity any longer. I found a place to hide for a while. It was away from the factory floor on the 2nd story. I sat in a small hallway with a window that went from the floor to the ceiling and narrow in nature. It was bitter cold that night, ice, snow, and freezing rain. At the same time it was beautiful and quiet. I went to the Lord and begged Him for comfort. I wanted something from His word that would encourage me. I wanted something that I could hang on to. I wanted to just make it through that night with my head held high and know that I could carry on even in this very despairing time. "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned. The flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2

Those words, those beautiful words have come to me at every window scene, and many other times. When hard times come, many do try to hide. God has taught me to hang on tight to His hand and to His promises. When I get too weak to walk, He carries me through until I have the strength to walk again. Even then, He doesn't leave me. He's walking side by side in stride with me, and I with Him. I have decided to walk with Him, and He promises to walk with me. I can choose to walk away from Him, but He NEVER walks away from me.

Hallelujah, He Abides with Me!!!!

(Thank you Bill for giving me permission to post this assignment on this blog! - You definitely get top marks for this one!! Vivien. )